By ena ganguly
It’s the new year. A brand new opportunity to commit to all the goals we set out to do last year but couldn’t keep up with. My question is, why do we try so hard to recommit to all the goals we know we can’t keep up with?
Our resolutions are almost always setting us up for failure, because they are more about restraining us from our habits than about supporting us to become better people, to ourselves and to others. Here are a few ways for us to unlearn our annual resolution making habits while still holding important intentions for the new year
- Why: Unpack your resolutions
“Stop eating junk food.”
“Save money for house.”
“Clean the apartment once a week.”
The nature of resolutions tend to be absolute, making it harder to manifest them. “Stop eating junk food” doesn’t feel like an achievable resolution simply because it doesn’t necessarily speak to you and your circumstance. You may eat junk food for a number of reasons, because it’s low cost or because it reminds you of a fond memory. It’s important to understand the reasons why you have habits that you consider ‘bad’ so that you can address them in a realistic and compassionate way.
Another question to ask when trying to initiate a resolution is to ask yourself, “What is moving me towards these set of resolutions?” There are some internal conversations that must be had while outwardly manifesting your new year goals. A good example is the very popular need to lose weight in the new year. If you are someone who wants to lose weight but have been consistently unhappy with your body image, no matter what size you are, maybe it’s time to uncover what are some underlying reasons that you are unhappy with your body. Perhaps there is some healing that you must do to fully embrace your body and be at peace with it that is separate from the number on the scale.
- How: Make a plan and be accountable for it.
We go into the new year with such lofty, often unrealistic, ideas of who we are going to be and what we are going to do right this time. Though the year is new, you’re still the same person. Your needs, desires, and wants haven’t drastically changed. Your past remains your past, and all of that is okay! That’s why it’s so important to put together a timeline where you include specific goals and intentions that is at a comfortable pace.
No matter the resolution you have, sit down and create a plan that feels doable to you. It doesn’t matter how slow you start or if you are unsuccessful at some of your initial goals. The key is to know you can start again, hold yourself accountable to your personal timeline, and continue to be easy on yourself. You are trying.
- Who: Keep you in mind
Last but not least: pay attention to you. If you’re losing weight because your partner wants you to, then drop them. You will lose at least the weight of another human body in an INSTANT, guaranteed. If you’re saving money for a house because you fear that all your peers are moving faster in life than you, then maybe it’s time to slow down and assess your own needs. We don’t have to live life comparing ourselves to others. Ultimately, it will bring us only worry, jealousy, and anger, when what we really deserve is joy and peace.
Think of all the things you received last year that nourished you and all the things that did not. What do you want to do differently this year and what are some ways you want to expand your self? This new year is just for you to spread yourself into. Keep this year for you.
What are some new year’s resolutions you have? What do you want to do in 2019? Share with us on Facebook (@allgoqpoc), Twitter (@allgoqpoc) and Instagram (@allgoqpoc)!