5 Self Love Affirmations for Enbies (Trans Non-Binary People)

In a colonized world that loves its binaries, refusing to conform to gender expectations and existing beyond those boundaries as a non-binary person (NB or enby) can be so magical and also… so exhausting. From having to choose between binary bathrooms—to being asked to give repeated grammar lessons on pronouns—to feeling perpetually unseen and unrecognized for your gender and personhood, these are just a few constant reminders of a world that was not built for us can feel very defeating and overwhelming.

Self-love, then, is a radical and powerful and necessary tool that we can use for ourselves and each other to combat all of the invalidation and hatred we face in our everyday lives. Self-love is a practice and a process; I will readily admit that I am hardly perfect in caring, accepting, and loving myself. These affirmations are much easier for me to give to you than even for me to believe fully for myself. And that’s okay. It takes time to internalize these loving statements and overwrite the doubtful ones, but today is as good a day as any to practice.

You absolutely are enough.

I promise. Wherever you are in your journey, however much left you have to figure out, you are absolutely enough in this moment, right now. There is nothing lacking or wrong with you because of the way you feel about your gender or the way your gender presents itself.

Furthermore, you are trans enough. So often, trans non-binary people feel unheard and discredited—or pressured to prove ourselves as “truly trans” or not-cis. However, the reality is that there are no wrong ways to be trans or non-binary, and transness is not a competition or race. You are trans enough, and I believe you.

(In fact, questioning whether or not you are trans enough is such a common trans experience that I’d say just that act on its own could “prove” that you are, indeed, trans enough.)

Your gender is beautiful.

Stunning. Fabulous. Exquisite. Your gender is beautiful and honest. It’s so real, and the world is a finer place for witnessing it.

It’s okay if you don’t know everything right now. You are wholly lovable just the way you are right now.

It’s okay if you aren’t sure what name, gender, labels, or pronouns are right for you yet. It’s okay if those change or continue to change. It’s okay if you never figure it out. It’s okay if you don’t know whether or not you want to biomedically transition. It’s okay if you don’t know whether or not you want to socially transition. It’s okay if you didn’t know you were trans since you were a young child. It’s okay if aren’t sure whether or not you are non-binary. It’s okay if you don’t know everything right now. You don’t have to be certain to be valid and valuable.

Take the time you need to explore and figure things out. You deserve that.

You are not alone.

Non-binary gender identities have existed for as long as gender has existed. Although our language around gender may have changed and new words may have emerged, non-binary genders are not a recent trend or fad. There is a beautiful and extensive history of gender nonconforming and trans non-binary ancestors who are so proud of you for being who you are today.

Today, there are so many enbies living all over the world—just check #NonBinaryTwitter for a quick peek. You are not alone and you are needed.

Your existence is revolutionary.

You are needed simply for your existence. We are showing the world what gender can look like without boundaries and binaries, a vision that is too often left out and and diminished. Non-binary people actively challenge the norms and expectations of gender, just by living their authentic lives. When we live in a world that tries to destroy and neglect our presence, the existence of enbies is revolutionary.

Trying to navigate and survive this very absurdly binary world (where everything from bathrooms to eyeglass shops is needlessly gendered) can feel so tiresome and lonely. I know. But you are doing just enough, and your existence and perseverance are inspiring.

 

Hold on to these affirmations and repeat them to yourself and your fellow enbies whenever you need a reminder of your brilliance. Know someone who could use some affirmation? Share this with them now as a gesture of validation and love!

4 ways to re-energize in difficult times

 

allgo-blog-photo-by-Rory-MacLeodQueer and Trans People of Color (QTPOC) are full of power and light, but it can be hard to maintain that power and light while wading through all the news articles and videos, status updates, and problematic words and worldviews that are thrown at us every day. Often, we are forced to engage in spaces, both online and off, that drain our energies and leave us feeling unmotivated and irritable.

It’s important to make sure that we take the time to renew our energies often.  To help our communities to continue shining bright and strong here are 4 things we can do to help us re-energize during difficult times.

Photo by Rory MacLeod

 

 

1) Stop

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Sometimes we just need to stop the influx of information and allow ourselves to take the time to re-center. Whether this is turning off the radio for a few minutes and being in silence, or the complete opposite and raising the volume all the way and letting the music carry you up, or you can read or create something (which we’ll talk about later) it’s up to you. Don’t overload yourself though, it can be easy to turn the time you have set aside for self-care, into another slot to add to-do items. The key here is allowing some time away from the constant influx of information while you allow your mind and soul to heal.

 

2) Communicate

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Just as important as taking the time to practice self-care is being able to communicate about your needs to the people around you. As QTPOC, we are often expected to neither be seen nor heard. We’re taught, by constantly being silenced and looked over, to keep silent and to stay out of the way. Over time we stop talking about the things we are feeling, experiencing, and going though, which leads to each of us carrying around a large ball of weight alone. But when we are able to communicate openly and honestly with each other, we are able to grow stronger as individuals and as a community. Tell people about what you are feeling, and know that what you are saying is important. 

Photo by Cindy Elizabeth

 

3) Be in Community

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Surround yourself with people who care about you and support you. It’s easy to start internalizing the stories that media are putting out and to feel like everything’s falling apart. Whether community to you is a single person or a large group of people, being in a place where you can experience the brightness and joy of community can help you to remember the light that you carry within yourself.

 

4) Create

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Whether this is poetry, pottery, jewelry, painting, cooking, sculpture or any other way of creating, it’s completely up to you. Don’t worry about whether or not what you’re making is “good enough,” just take the time to create something. QTPOC communities are full of amazingly talented people, who don’t often get the recognition they deserve, and the act of creating something can help you to re-center. For those of you who are in an ongoing state of creation, such as artists and writers, this might seem redundant, but when you’ve been working really hard on a project for a while it can be a good idea to take the time to change it up, to create in a different way or with a different medium.

 

How do you re-energize? Do you have any other favorites not already on this list? Let us know in the comments below.
allgo is an organization created by, for, and about queer and trans people of color.

 

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